And so, let us pick apart this idiocy. The title of the purveyer of such hideous, mechanical, grown up "toys" is The Sharper Image. Now, I remember this catalog from my youth, when it really was just for men, and typically everything in it was shiny chrome, black, or white. But that has changed, although I cannot decide if that is a good thing or a bad thing. Because the offerings, once designed to appeal to some sort of hip, tech-y, vaguely metrosexual bachelor guy living in some high-rise apartment in New York, are now designed to appeal (and I use that word loosely) to the whole family. If, that is, you belong to a family that wants to "shop for bots."
Dear God. (I said that recently at a party and my alter-ego friend that has the same name as me said, "pretty strong words for an atheist.") Bitch. Anyway, I do have to wonder at the following:
Sorry for the glare. Hard to photograph glossy magazine without glare.
How on earth is this even remotely (haha) appealing?
Get a load of this copy/hyperbole:
The Pleo dinosaur interacts with you — moving organically, expressing emotion, autonomously exploring and responding to the world around him.
Every Pleo dinosaur is unique. Yes, each one begins life as a newly-hatched baby Camarasaurus, but that's where predictability ends and individuality begins.
He develops his own personality, moods and habits — all shaped by the time he spends with you. In creating this life form, we merely set the wheels in motion. Making the magic is up to you and your Pleo dinosaur.
Pleo dinosaur's sophisticated sensory system has devices that enable him to see, to sense touch and to detect objects: a color camera, sound sensors, two infrared sensors, 14 motors, over 100 gears, 8 touch sensors and an orientation sensor.
On www.pleoworld.com owners can connect, find training tips and download new enhancements to Pleo dinosaur.
For ages 8 and older.
There is so much to scorn here, I hardly know where to start. So I'll start at the top: this poor creature's eyes. Why the eyes? Well, because they're blue. So instead of "Pleo" perhaps they should have names it Aryano. Since no animals except humans and a few random malamutes and huskies have blue eyes naturally. Animals that DO have blue eyes-except humans-are albinos. Which means they have extremely poor eyesight/are blind. Which means, Darwin-wise, they are not longed for this world. They can neither catch prey nor avoid being prey. But enough of that little science lesson. Moving on...
Playful and lively
If your Pleo dinosaur loves a good tug-of-war or shows off in front of friends, congratulate yourself — it's all the fun you've had together that has made him the good sport that he is. In his excitement, he just might let loose with a few hoots and honks. Wow, just what I always wanted, a robotic dinosaur that will show off and let forth embarrassing noises. Flipper could have easily fit this bill when she was about 1. And she often did.
Scared and surprised
Let's not forget that this Camarasaurus is just a baby. Something in Pleo dinosaur's new environment scares him — see how he cowers? But the more he experiences, the more confident he becomes. And then he'll love surprises — the good kind. "See how he cowers?? I am startign to feel sorry for this poor thing. Perhaps he cowers because he is BLIND and is well on his way towards being a mere appetizer for a hungry T-Rex.
Sad and vexed
A sociable Pleo dinosaur who's alone too long or a hungry Pleo who's not getting fed can turn into a sad Pleo. How can you tell? His droopy tail and forlorn look let you know that he's looking for a friendly pat or a taste of his favorite leaf. Does Pleo dinosaur ever get upset? Well, let's just say you shouldn't pull that toe of his too hard. This reminds me, disconcertingly, of this:
"Baby Think It Over". The infant simulator is a lifelike, life-size (20 1/2 inches) vinyl baby weighing 6.5 pounds. It is anatomically correct and available in both sexes and five different ethnicities. An internal computer simulates an infant crying at realistic, random intervals 24 hours a day. Intervals can be adjusted from 15 minutes to 6 hours for a normal, cranky, or particularly easy to care for baby." And, if you rip the battery pack out to stop it's endless wailing, it registers as "abused." Meaning you fail the class.
OK, just one more:
Drives
Pleo dinosaur's hungry. Getting sleepy. But hey, what's that over there? Like any creature, Pleo dinosaur feels hunger and fatigue — offset by powerful urges to explore and be nurtured. He'll graze, nap and toddle about on his own —when he feels like it! Pleo dinosaur can change his mind and his mood, just as you do.
Perhaps not as quickly as I change my mind, however. Since Pleo is a BOY and I am a GIRL. Or woman. SOmetimes. As to the grazing, napping and toddling about, hey, just have a baby!! For a small child, too, the combinations are endless.
In a touching Waldorf moment last week-end, Flipper referred to my new glue-gun as the "glue-sword." Just beautiful.
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